About gigglinginthegutter

I read science at University with a final year specialisation in vertebrate evolution. I believe. There is meaning, and that is to be found in connection. Life and love are two sides of a coin. I'm a practicing Christian, but I'm not convinced about the Church (es). I'm particularly interested in quantum physics and what new discoveries tell us about reality and the meaning of life. For me at least, they point to a deeper meaning rather than the opposite. I'm also a musician - though as with my spiritual life I practice intermittently and struggle with manifest imperfection. I have been deeply influenced by Martin Buber, Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, Karl Jung, Wolfgang Pauli, Niels Bohr, Alfred Einstein, Professor Owen Chadwick, my family and friends, Jesus Christ and the Dalai Lama. Since nothing can be proved we owe it to each other to listen as deeply as possible, rather than to preach. If reality is indeed within connection, then it's the intensity of the act of conversation that is important rather than conversion to a particular point of view. What about you?

The Two Types of Ego

This is a personal theory only, but for what it’s worth..

I think there are two fundamental ego types – The Candyfloss and The Softcentred Chocolate.

The Candyfloss – has a woody and well defined spine, around which is constantly spun a fluffy melting sweet floss where it contacts the world. This creates a fuzzy boundary which invites fusion with others. But… the ego melts and is in danger of falling apart but is rescued by the clearly defined core.

The Softcentred Chocolate – has a brittle and well defined exterior which defends the soft inside. Will one break ones teeth on a hard toffee? Dare one bite in? It’s only on intimacy that one discovers that the inside is meltingly delicious.


I expect that we have each of us been betrayed. How do you deal with it? I find in its wake turbulent cross currents of emotion. Almost rich in diversity. Anger, sorrow, self-pity. A revisiting of memories. Perhaps apposite would be a re-membering.

Forgiveness has to be handled with care. In my experience the betrayer most often whips them self into justification and projects back their guilt. The Greek tragedies were full of this. It does make it hard to bear. To have to come to terms both with treachery and the false stories with which the deceiver clothes their actions.

But the most difficult of all? That is in coming to terms with ones own part. If you leave your house door unlocked (as it were), are you not in some measure inviting the thief? Does blind trust not contain elements both of arrogance and lack of care for the relationship?

It takes two both to tango, and to be betrayed. Alas for it, and when it happens. The betrayer in the end loses more than the betrayed; but something valuable leaches out from the humanity of both…

John Bell

… the giant of theoretical physics – was British. Just saying; because wherever I read about him he’s mentioned variously as Swiss, American or Irish.

He was born in Belfast in 1928. Two degrees from Belfast University then phd from Birmingham. He then worked at Harwell as a British civil scientist. Later he moved to CERN (Switzerland). He spent a year in USA.

What did he achieve? Just this.. his Bells Theorem settles the 40 year old argument between Einstein (et al) and Bohr. What that means is that the universe is singular, connected – with all parts no matter how distant instantaneously influencing all parts. It underpins David Bohm’s breakthrough work showing that reality is a single unboundaried flux or stream, with thoughts and matter as evanescent eddies and whirlpools. The model of the universe built up over centuries as material, atomic – is simply wrong.

Does it matter what nationality he was? No. But truth does…


We have traduced the meaning…

The word is rooted in the concept of ratio. It’s fundament is comparative, it expresses relationship. This was how Greek thinkers intended our thought. At least before Democritus set us off down the atomistic fragmented thinking which has led to the western blind alley of dialectic materialism.

In fact we have inverted the concept. Rather than leading to consideration of reality in relation and context to all-that-is, “rational” has come to mean the opposite.

Strange. However a wave of new being is about to change this paradigm. Relativity and quantum physics prove that existence is one, whole, flowing. Material atomistic thinking misleads.

It matters (!). We consider ourselves as individual. Separate. Lonely. Fearful of death (of our separated ego and body). It isn’t like that. We won’t die, because we aren’t separately “alive”. There is life in us, we are already part of everything. Always have been. Will be for evermore. In fact the film “Avatar” is the best representation of how it really is. Except we are already within that magical tree!

The Freud Boson

Everything now has a field theory, explaining connecting forces. Like the electromagnetic field for instance. For each force physicists have name a “fermion” which carries the force. Electrons carry electricity, photons transmit light etc.. Lately there has even been confirmation of the Higgs Boson, which transmits gravity, also I think called a graviton.

Why not then a field describing the force of selfishness, self interest and self-centred ness. What should we name the transmitting particle (certainly negatively charged). I propose the Freud Boson, else known as the egoton…