About gigglinginthegutter

I read science at University with a final year specialisation in vertebrate evolution. I believe. There is meaning, and that is to be found in connection. Life and love are two sides of a coin. I'm a practicing Christian, but I'm not convinced about the Church (es). I'm particularly interested in quantum physics and what new discoveries tell us about reality and the meaning of life. For me at least, they point to a deeper meaning rather than the opposite. I'm also a musician - though as with my spiritual life I practice intermittently and struggle with manifest imperfection. I have been deeply influenced by Martin Buber, Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, Karl Jung, Wolfgang Pauli, Niels Bohr, Alfred Einstein, Professor Owen Chadwick, my family and friends, Jesus Christ and the Dalai Lama. Since nothing can be proved we owe it to each other to listen as deeply as possible, rather than to preach. If reality is indeed within connection, then it's the intensity of the act of conversation that is important rather than conversion to a particular point of view. What about you?

Conjure this – no death!

This is how I imagine consciousness. There is a “self”, but it’s a force that attracts and captures stories – narratives. What others mostly perceive as “us”, and which our ego reinforces – is actually (I think) a bundle or a quiver of stories.

Death does not exist. It a chimaera, an illusion. Why do I believe this? Because our “ego” doesn’t really exist anyway. The ego dies, but what is it in the first place; a phantasm that acquires a will to continue.

What we think of as “life”, that of our ego – doesn’t exist. Neither then does death. What of the rest, the real stuff. Well the stories – the ideas weaving together – persist. As for the force that attracts – well that’s a mystery beyond this bodies imagining. I don’t believe it dies though. I think – like the Hindus – that it is a droplet of existence that returns to the ocean.

And there, dear Heart, is a joyous thought. This life is lonely. We are boundaried. If at our body’s dissolution, as ego fades – so then evaporates our boundary. To the loving infinite. To each other. Then: Bring it on. Comrades. Sisters. Namaste.

To love a Scottish lass

To My McLove – in a poem, a picture and a piece x

In a poem…

She used to like Scotties
But now she loves Pugs
What does that say of her journey?

From pugnacious aye-right
To soft scottish sky-bright
Unfolding from surly to girlie

A Picture…

And a “piece”, (click to play)

Blue Angel

Note to self


Yes, Ego – but you’re only a confection. Candyfloss spun by my mind; and your price is loneliness. My “self” is a prison, and you, my Ego are a false gaoler. Death only exists for you, my Ego. Without it (in every sense) I  truly live. Live truly.

Eternal life is in relation, between I and Thou. You are death, my Ego. You and the relation “I-It”

Extract from Martin Buber’s I and Thou..

(For reading click here to listen …trimmed -i thou 1-7 to man the world is twofold

To man the world is twofold, in accordance with his twofold attitude.

The attitude of man is twofold, in accordance with the twofold nature ofthe primary words which he speaks. The primary words are not isolated words, but

combined words.

The one primary word is the combination I-Thou. The other primary word is the combination I-It;

wherein, without a change in the primary word, one of the words He and She can replace It.

Hence the I of man is also twofold.

For the I of the primary word I-Thou is a different I from that of the primary word I-It.

Primary words do not signify things, but.they intimate relations.

Climbing the number ladder…

Nought, Omphalos, Nothing Eternity and the void.

One is appearance. Miraculous number. The world is born with the appearance of 1. The archetypal change from nothing to all. But, one is one and all alone and ever more shall be so.

Two, and consciousness is possible. Granularity and separation. We can understand existence because we have edge. A within and without. Quantum mechanics shows that everything exists only as a cloud of possibility – until observed. It is the act of knowing that crystallises out reality from potential. Deliberately to mix language – it is witness that causes wavefunction collapse. It is consciousness that creates reality, and that is only possible when edge is born with the advent of the number 2. Duality appears to be a fundamental property of existence. Energy is the flip side of matter (e=mc2), everything is wave and particle simultaneously. Yin is nothing without Yang. Ich and Du embrace and the world unfolds.

Three, is unbalanced materialism. The 3 dimensions of space, but static – going nowhere without time. The trinity – all male of course! A way point en-route to…

Four, the mystic number,Jung’s number. The sacred number of alchemy. The four points of the compass and of course the description of all – space-time (the fourth dimension not separate as imagined until Einstein, but integrated). The alchemists believed that moving from 1 to 2 to 3 and then finally adding one to reach 4, integrating back to one was the route to perfection. Jung worked with Wolfgang Pauli to tease out an interrelationship between quantum mechanics and psychology. What synchronicity then that Pauli’s best know contribution was to discover through the exclusion principle that a fourth dimension is needed to describe reality. The three intuitive dimensions of space plus spin.