Now. Fare foreward, voyagers

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How can the present moment be infinite and eternal while each moment also appears as a fleeting instance within the flow of time? Someone commented that yesterday’s post seemed inconsistent with the boundlessness of the present moment of Now, which Eckhart Tolle’s book leads us toward. That is a really interesting thought: how are moments both eternal, yet obviously fragments or instances lost in the flow of time?

Tolle has it that there is a stream of consciousness within which we participate as both one and many, and that this flows from a source (which I name God). His metaphor is of the sun and the sunlight flowing from it. Could it be that this necessary flow is what creates the direction of time and breaks the otherwise symmetrical perfection to allow physical experience?

One way into this question is through physics, not as an explanation of purpose, but as an analogy for how form may arise. One of the concepts within physics is symmetry and symmetry breaking as a creative act. In essence, physicists observe that almost everything is symmetrical, but there are rare transformational moments when this symmetry breaks and the physical world comes into existence.

An instance of this is the mirror of matter and antimatter. It is said that these spring into existence all the time in a kind of infinite fizz, but matter and antimatter immediately annihilate each other. Except sometimes, for some reason, they do not. In that case, matter exists on its own and a whole physical world is born. Perhaps, speculatively, some answer to this imbalance lies in the 97% of the cosmos physicists still do not fully understand: dark matter and dark energy.

I remind myself that, whilst fascinating, physics is all about how things work and does not speak at all to reason or purpose. Still, it may help illuminate why this existence might be like this. Perhaps the flow of consciousness from its creative source is what gives time its direction, breaking otherwise symmetrical perfection so that physical experience can unfold. This brings me back to T. S. Eliot’s insights in the Four Quartets.

He seems to hold together the paradox I am circling: that time is not merely something to escape, but the very medium through which timelessness is disclosed.

“Only through time, time is conquered” — T. S. Eliot, Burnt Norton.

“History is a pattern of timeless moments” — T. S. Eliot, Little Gidding.

“At the moment which is not of action or inaction / You can receive this: ‘on whatever sphere of being / The mind of a man may be intent / At the time of death’—that is the one action / (And the time of death is every moment) / Which shall fructify in the lives of others / And do not think of the fruit of action. / Fare forward.” — T. S. Eliot, The Dry Salvages.

The physicist David Bohm had deep insight into the connection between the how and why of the world. Like Eliot and so many others, he drew on Eastern thinking. He conceived of existence as flow, like a river, where what appears to us as stable is actually an eddy in that flowing oneness. Perhaps this is a different way of putting Tolle’s sense that we can dive into being through the gateway of Now, and that this is an infinitely connecting flow of consciousness from the creative source. In that case, as Eliot says in The Dry Salvages — in the voice of Krishna — we never simply say goodbye to what has been, or to each other, but embrace the movement itself.

“Not fare well, but fare forward, voyagers” — T. S. Eliot, The Dry Salvages.

Not farewell, then, but a willingness to dive into the flow of being rather than simply doing: to fare forward.

Meaning and the Number 2

Waving

This is why, for me, the mystic number is 2.

The Question of Meaning

“Meaning is the essential feature of consciousness…” David Bohm

The first question for me is this: “Is there meaning?” This is, of course, just another way of phrasing “Why?” or “Is there purpose at all?” Surely this underlies all of living for each of us. Sometimes we confront it; sometimes we avoid it — but it is always there. Since we are inside existence, and have no rational external reference point, there can be no purely rational answer. Personally, though, it seems obvious to me that the answer is yes; but that is, in the end, an article of faith, albeit one underpinned by all of the extraordinary “coincidences” in physics that make life possible.

Let’s then take the existence of meaning as a truth. Where does it lie?

Meaning Beyond the Ego

“The dust inbreathed was a house, the wall, the wainscot, and the mouse” T. S. Eliot

It seems to me that purpose is not to be found in what Freud thought of as the “self” or Ego. This is entirely different from Jung’s definition of Self — which is much more interesting. “I”, that is, all of our “I”s, will dissolve as bodies die. At that point, their molecules will be taken up into infinite new forms, just as the body I currently inhabit is made up of atoms that have been part of infinite others — including all of those I have known: my mother, father, brothers, wife, and so on.

Nor do I believe that meaning lies solely within the material world. In fact, the more science uncovers of the “how” of quantum mechanics, the less concrete materiality really appears.

It seems to me that the frantic search for meaning within things — dialectical materialism — is a dead end, or at least a distraction. On the other hand, the material world must surely be a part of meaning. But part of what?

Meaning as Part of a Whole

“We are one, after all, you and I, together we suffer, together exist, and forever will recreate each other” Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Part of a whole. All is one. Indeed, that is what “universe” means: one thing. Another way of looking at it could be that meaning is found in process — the flow of matter and energy. Perhaps: “the whole flow of energy and matter.” How, though, do we break that down into something we can get our arms around, or understand?

Maybe another way of looking at it is that the material is part of something else, partnered with… mind? Spirit? Antimatter?

Relation as the Site of Meaning

“The relation to the Thou is direct. No system of ideas, no foreknowledge, and no fancy intervene between I and Thou. The memory itself is transformed, as it plunges out of its isolation into the unity of the whole” Martin Buber

That, for me, is where Martin Buber and David Bohm come in. They each talk about meaning as lying within “relation” or “dialogue”: what lies “between”. Buber’s amazing semi-poetic meditation, I and Thou (Ich und Du), has been transformative for me. I would encourage everyone to read at least the first two pages, where he defines the “primary words” as I-It and I-Thou, as opposed to I, Thou, or It alone.

I therefore have two building blocks in my search. First: there is meaning. Second: the place to look for it is relationship.

Why Two Matters

“Without Contraries is no progression. Attraction and Repulsion, Reason and Energy, Love and Hate, are necessary to Human existence” William Blake

And that is where number arises for me. If meaning lies in relation, then relation requires more than undivided oneness. It requires distinction, edge, and encounter: something that can meet something other than itself.

My daughter, as a teenager, told me she thought that an incredibly important concept was “boundary”, and I have been assimilating that ever since. Without boundary, nothing can be known. You need the “other” to understand yourself.

I wrote this some years ago.

“From zero to hero, the world is born with the appearance of 1. The archetypal boundary is right there in the change from nothing to all. But one is one, and all alone, and ever more shall be so. From 1 to 2, consciousness is possible: granularity and separation. We can understand existence because we have edge: a within and a without. Quantum mechanics shows that everything exists only as a cloud of possibility — until observed. It is the act of knowing that crystallises reality out of potential. Deliberately to mix language: it is witness that causes wavefunction collapse. It is consciousness that creates reality, and that is only possible when edge is born with the advent of the number 2. Duality appears to be a fundamental property of existence. Energy is the flip side of matter (E=mc²); everything is wave and particle simultaneously. Yin is nothing without yang. Ich and Du embrace, and the world unfolds.”

That is why, for me, the “mystic number” is 2. With it comes a consciousness of existence, and the possibility of relation and dialogue, which Buber and Bohm so eloquently place at the core of meaning.

So I return to the first question: is there meaning? For me, yes. It is not found in the isolated self, nor in material things alone, but in relation. And relation becomes possible only where there is boundary, distinction, and encounter.

That is why, for me, the mystic number is 2.

Love, Pain and Infinity

Love and pain are infinitely bound together. This is something I have realised very recently.

The way to love your children is unconditionally. This is completely true, in fact it is a truism. I have parroted that through my life. What about that word – “unconditionally? It has a sting in its tail. It means – literally boundless, infinite. If love has boundaries, then is it really not some type of deal leading back to your own needs. “I will love you until or unless…” What is that? Something glib, a sticking plaster that enables us to believe that we are connected to the beloved, whilst hiding behind our fear and our own ego. 

I have recently been confronted by searing pain arising from love. A love that I can’t control. I realise now that I have previously dealt with such grief – such as the loss of my mother, father and elder brother – by closing myself off. This was a defensive reaction I learned when I was sent to boarding school as a child. 

But, pain and love are inextricably bound together. They are different sides of a coin. Accepting both is the price of living. 

If there are no limits to love and pain – then they are both literally limitless. Infinite. The price of infinite love is the acceptance of the possibility of infinite pain.  

Why do this at all? Because unconditional love is the bedrock of authentic living. The prize is worth the price. Though the burden is too much for us in our human frailty. As Elliot says

”human kind cannot bear very much reality” Burnt Norton 

Fortunately (I truly believe) we are part of something infinitely loving, which I find in Christ. We do not have to bear the reality of infinite pain in order to express life and love. Love which underpins all existence.  It love that is  

“the unfamiliar Name Behind the hands that wove The intolerable shirt of flame Which human power cannot remove. We only live, only suspire Consumed by either fire or fire.” Little Gidding

But then, again at least for me

“All shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well” Eliot/St Julian of Norwich

The Dry Salvages

This penultimate poem in TS Eliot’s Four Quartets points to meaning, that lies in “the intersection of timeless with time”. Most of us only glimpse this in fragments of epiphany. These are what Eliot calls “the moment in and out of time” such as “music heard so deeply that it is not heard at all, but you are the music while the music lasts”. These are the same flashes of insight to which Martin Buber refers in his 1937 book “Ich und Du” (I and Thou), where boundary dissolves and we feel joined to each other, nature or spirit.

East Coker

In my end is my beginning.

East Coker Church
“Here or there does not matter
We must be still and still moving
Into another intensity
For a further union, a deeper communion
Through the dark cold and the empty desolation,
The wave cry, the wind cry, the vast waters
Of the petrel and the porpoise. In my end is my beginning” TS Eliot

Conjugating Being

Yin, Yang – or Jung’s concept of Anima and Animus – striving for dynamic balance. Eliot’s “still point of the turning world. There the dance is..”

I like the concept of conjugation in relation to establishing this balance, as in Buber’s “I & Thou” – moving onward to an existential “We”.

Animus .. the male aspect of the female psyche, as the Anima is the female aspect of male psyche. Hence:

Animo, Animas.. Animamus.

Feminism is one of the phrases of conjugation; rebalancing centuries of dominance of male. Perhaps though the intense work is inside each of us, balancing our Anima and Animus to release our emergent self?

Reality and Joy

All is not as it seems; in fact – better than we fear or even hope. Much. All the world’s a stage; a set to hold and enable connection. Reality is not within us – our self – but in relation. Which is itself movement, whence relationship arises.

It is our attachment to our unfertilised ego that binds and imprisons us. Sentenced thus to solitary confinement. Magic shimmers when synapses between us crackle with the vibrancy of what lies beyond.

Relation to, with, through. Nature, others, creativity, ideas. Anything in fact except the non-existent “I” (Ich-Es) and its bedfellow materialism; which is literally stuff and nonsense.

The language of love is movement and acceleration. Relationship is evanescent motion, choreographed by joy. The word existing beyond time.

Experience deceives. It is built from the the rubble of the dry concretised and digital past. It is history, always outmoded. As Eliot and Buber put it:

“In the act of experience Thou is far away” (Buber)

“In the knowledge derived from experience, the knowledge imposes a pattern and falsifies, for the pattern is new in every moment. And every moment is a new and shocking valuation of all we have been” (Eliot)

“just as prayer is not in time but time in prayer, sacrifice not in space but space in sacrifice, and to reverse the relation is to abolish reality.. I do not experience the man to whom I say Thou. But I take my stand in relation to him .. No deception penetrates here; here is the cradle of the Real Life” (Buber).

“At the still point of the turning world. Neither flesh nor fleshless; Neither from nor towards; at the still point, there the dance is, Except for the point, the still point,There would be no dance, and there is only the dance.” (Eliot)

When poetry collides with physics

“The hint half guessed, the gift half understood, is Incarnation. Here the impossible union Of spheres of existence is actual, Here the past and future Are conquered, and reconciled,”

The Dry Salvages T. S. Eliot


“In quantum mechanics, wave function collapse occurs when a wave function—initially in a superposition of several eigenstates—reduces to a single eigenstate due to interaction with the external world. … Significantly, the combined wave function of the system and environment continue to obey the Schrödinger equation.”

Wikipedia “Superposition collapse”

TS Eliot, after the despair of The Wasteland, came to his realisation that the only way out of the endless cycle (“when is there an end to it, the voiceless wailing”) is the intersection between now and infinity -the Incarnation. The universe does not revolve around humans. Neither are we apart from all-that-is. Rather we are here to bear witness; or as quantum physics might put – to be observers – and thus to crystallise actual from the infinity of potential. What they would call observation collapsing the wave function, is what Eliot calls The Incarnation.

Christ re-unifies Space and Time

“We shall not cease from exploration

And the end of all our exploring

Will be to arrive where we started

And know the place for the first time.

Through the unknown, remembered gate

When the last of earth left to discover

Is that which was the beginning;

At the source of the longest river

The voice of the hidden waterfall

And the children in the apple-tree

Not known, because not looked for

But heard, half-heard, in the stillness

Between two waves of the sea.

Quick now, here, now, always –

A condition of complete simplicity

(Costing not less that everything)

And all shall be well and

All manner of thing shall be well

When the tongues of flame are in-folded

Into the crowned knot of fire

And the fire and the rose are one.”

TS Eliot, Four Quartets; Little Gidding (extract)